So many times this past year, I have wanted to pick up the phone and talk to my mom. I know that it is not possible, but I still think of her and miss our conversations. She always listened and offered wisdom where appropriate. Most of all she just affirmed me. She loved me and I knew it. There is simply nothing like a mother’s love.
We have added almost three more grandbabies into our family in the last year and half. I say almost three babies because one won’t be here until July. I love watching my kids as parents. It makes me smile when I hear something repeated that I might have stressed to them as children. I always wanted to be known as a good mom. I try to do the right thing with each individual child’s needs, but there are often times that I fail even with good intentions. When my mom died, my son told me that I need to fill in now where my mom left off. Even though she only wore size 4 shoes, they are going to be hard for me to fill! I’m not my mom. She was way more patient, soft-spoken and kind than I will ever be.
I am realizing that even though I don’t think I can ever fill my mom’s shoes, it is happening anyway. However, my shoes are going to be a size 6 so there is room in there to make a mistake or two as I know I will need it. I might not be the cookie producing, quiet, little old lady that my mom once was. However, I just as she did, love all four of my children and their spouses like no one else can. I plead to God on their behalf daily as I watch them each have their struggles and challenges in life. I feel that I am the appointed prayer warrior on their behalf assigned by God, my Father. Even if I don’t see them every day, they are on my mind. I am in heaven when we have a holiday or other special occasion that I can invite them all over for food and fun. I don’t bake fresh cookies when they come, but there are always some Costco chocolate chip cookies on hand. I don’t knit them washcloths by hand for Christmas, but I purchase them on Etsy! I will never be the quiet woman who nods in agreement no matter what the conversation. I always seem to have an opinion for better or worse.
In the end, the only important question that will stand will be when the Lord asks me, “Did you teach them My Ways?” Nothing else I ever did as a mom will compare to making sure my kids were taught and given an example of having Christ in their lives. For that reason, in closing, I want to share Paul’s prayer he prayed for the Ephesians over my children today and in the years to come.
Ephesians 3:14-21 For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
As I ponder the blessings in my life that I call children and grand-children, as a mother and grandmother, I am blessed. Each one brings a different gift to my life. Each one holds a special place in my heart. They are my children and they are loved.
