Yes, I Have Cancer. Please Don’t Feel Sorry For Me.

God's Promise to Me!
God’s Promise to Me!

I appreciate all of the prayers, well wishes, encouraging notes, fighting cancer tips along with some extra hugs from those I see on a regular basis since revealing my diagnosis of breast cancer last week.  My hope is that as I walk down this path; God might be glorified.  I don’t want your pity or please don’t avoid me because you don’t know what to say.  It’s OK.  I started 2013 with two things on my mind.  God was telling me to pray harder—even to the point of putting on the full armor of God in my prayer life.  The second thing was my prayer telling God I wanted to go deeper with Him.  In my life experience, I rarely grow in my faith when life is easy and all is well.   It has been the times when I suffered the most that I drew closer to God and found His Faithfulness in new and different ways.  Times like when I was wondering if my daughter was going to live or die just after birth, or when I went through my divorce or said goodbye to my son as he left for Afghanistan for a year life were not fun.  However, God used those situations to build a faith in me that is deeper and stronger than it would be had I not gone through those circumstances.  I can actually praise Him today for my suffering!

Someone was saying yesterday that they wished God would do something miraculous in their life so that they too could see that He was real.  I thought about that and looking at that person’s life, I can see many times that God has intervened.  He saved them from a suicide attempt, protected them from a horrible accident when they tested God, and gave them loving parents that will help guide and direct them towards God in their life journey!  Those are just a few I know but I am sure if that person asks God to reveal the times where He was at work in their lives, guiding and protecting them, He would show them more.

You see, it all depends on where our focus is.  If we are going through life in our own strength or doubting God, His works will not be as evident to us because we’re not truly seeking Him.  However, if we seek God with our whole heart, He is faithful to be there and not leave us doubting.  The Bible tells us in Deuteronomy 4:29 (NKJV) …from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. There might be things in your past that you need to rebuke and ask God to remove from your mind.  Perhaps you may have dabbled in darkness and allowed other things to penetrate your thinking that were not of God.  Tell it to get behind you.  As a child of the King, nothing of darkness has any more power than what we give it.  If we tell it to be gone in Jesus Name, it has to go.  It’s a simple as that.

So here I go again.  It’s another test or should I say faith lesson in trusting God.  I am only human and know that there will be times when I am not happy about this valley I’m being taken through.  However, my prayer is that through it all God might be magnified.  I promise to be watching and waiting for God’s intervention throughout this process and will be praising Him as I see His Hand at work in my situation.  He has already taught me He will be faithful, I need not doubt.  But when my body is tired and I struggle to find the praise, I will remind myself of His Goodness.   God has given me a voice to tell others about Him and I intend to do just that.   Psalm 105:1-4 (NKJV) explains my thoughts for the upcoming months more eloquently than I could ever do:

Oh, give thanks to the Lord!
Call upon His name;
Make known His deeds among the peoples!
Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him;
Talk of all His wondrous works!
Glory in His holy name;
Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord!
Seek the Lord and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!

Are you looking for God in your life struggles?  If you seek Him with all your heart, I promise you, He is there if your trust is in Him.  The night before I went to the surgeon last week, God spoke to me in a sunset.  It was a beautiful, beautiful sunset.  I didn’t know what the next day was bringing and there was concern on my mind for my prognosis.  When I saw the beautiful sunset, I felt that God was saying, “It’s going to be OK”.  I can’t really tell you why, but other than I found peace in it because my mind was set on God.  I know He loves me and is watching after me.  Why wouldn’t He calm me with a sky that told me everything was going to be alright?  The next day when I went to the surgeon, she said if I have to have cancer, I have the best case scenario that I could have.  They feel the prognosis is good as long as nothing else appears in future tests.  In my mind, either way I win.  If I lose the battle with cancer and die, I’m in heaven free of worries worshipping my Savior all day long.  If I survive the battle, I get more time with my family, friends and ministry here to spread God’s Good News to a struggling world.  So don’t feel sorry for me.  I’m at peace.  I hope that you too might find peace in your struggles.  Seek God with all your heart.  Praise Him along the way.  Most importantly watch for Him in your circumstances!  He is faithful to meet you where you are when your heart is set on Him.  Have a great week, be blessed and don’t forget to be a blessing!