Stuff just happens to me. I don’t know why. I started feeling sorry for myself this week as the medical bills have begun rolling in and the first one was over $500 just for one visit. I hate the fact that I have this disease now and Jim gets stuck with my bills at times because my real estate income is sporadic. He wants to take care of me but I know it just adds more stress to him. We were discussing the health insurance the other night and how much the maximum out of pocket might be for the year. I looked at him and said, “I’m just trouble.” He didn’t miss a beat and replied, “I knew that before you married you and I married you anyway!” I love that man.
This week I had to go to the eye doctor. It’s getting to where I can’t see from one end to the next in the grocery store aisle and I knew my prescription was changing. I always panic when I get my eyes checked. Many years ago I went to the eye doctor and they put drops in my eyes and left me alone. The drops were to dilate my pupils so the doctor could see inside. As I sat in the chair, the room started spinning and I became really ill. No one was coming back to check on me and I thought I would die. The only relief I could think of was to lay my head down on the floor. I think there is something true about getting close to the center of gravity but nonetheless, it just seemed like the right thing to do with what was going on with me. So I got out of the seat and put my ear up against the floor pleading to God to stop the spinning. As I laid there on the floor, the assistant came in and let out a shriek for the doctor to come in. I think she thought I had died or something. It was quite embarrassing but what is a girl going to do? Like I said stuff just happens to me.
This week when I went to the eye doctor, Jim convinced me that they have different drops now and they shouldn’t affect me that way anymore. So I bravely went in and allowed them to do the drops again. Since my doctors now are also my clients, I try to play the tough guy…you know in control…never letting them see me sweat! They put one set of drops in my eyes and said it didn’t dilate them enough, then again, and then a third time before they had my pupils looking like big bowling balls in my head! I made it! No dizziness, nothing. I was so proud…and relieved that I didn’t make a scene in their office. I faced my fears and all was well.
Sometimes in life when we have struggles, we have to be willing to look at them through dilated pupils so to speak. Am I struggling because I don’t have my faith firmly planted on my Center of Gravity aka God? Has something in my life happened before that causes my vision to be skewed on reality? Am I not willing to dilate certain areas of my life to explore and understand where my fears and concerns are coming from?
Just as I had to face my fears and allow the drops to be put into my eyes once again; so you might have to face your fears to open yourself up to some soul-searching and healing. Once we do open ourselves up to God to reveal what’s really going on inside, He is faithful to help us get through. All of the things that were clouding our vision before become miniscule when we are focused on Him. Our view of our issues become so much more clear. This week I pray that you do some introspection with God. Take the chance and ask Him to open your eyes so that you can see your world as He does. He doesn’t stay up at night wondering how He’s going to pay my medical bills. He isn’t affected by my past experiences. He doesn’t even fret over my latest diagnosis. He understands it will all be used to my good and that if I just keep my head to the ground so to speak, my world will no longer be spinning out of control. I am beginning to see things more clearly. Are you?
Even when I look like trouble, God loves me. In fact, He knew that about me before He chose me and He chose me anyway! Won’t you let God Who owns everything, knows everything, and loves you no matter how much trouble you are be master over your life this week? I pray for His peace in your storm to be evident and amazing as you open your eyes to all He has for you in the days ahead. Thank you Lord for showing us through simple life instances of your goodness and your power in our lives. Are you grounded in Him? Are you willing to open your eyes to what He has to show you? My prayer is that we will all begin this week seeing life more clearly and be blessed with the 20/20 vision that only God can give. Let me know how God is working in your life this week. And as always…Be blessed and don’t forget to go out there and be a blessing!
Psalm 119:37 (NKJV) Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way.